|
|
#31
05-07-2010, 06:25 AM
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
 There is many answers contained within. 
|
|
#32
05-07-2010, 08:00 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I have found your weapons list. I just want to know where he gets the weapons from. I'm now rewriting my entire mercinary story. I feel like my dialogue is too flat and the characters should use more regional weapons.
|
|
#34
05-11-2010, 07:32 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
|
|
#35
05-26-2010, 09:08 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
As far as Maria goes...the various traficers on the US/mexican border litterally make millions of Dollars a year. Trust me if she survives longer than the cartel she's just left she will not have to worry much about money. Right now I am re-writing and expanding Johnny's first real fight scene. It should be pretty good as I've been acting out portions of the scene with a training partner. Hope to post it soon.
|
|
#36
05-31-2010, 05:55 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Johnny watched Maria check her phone. On the screen was an image of the local region with a multitude of icons centered around the palomas area. There were dots traveling along the highway towards Juarez but it would take them a while to reach juarez.
"Keeping an eye on their cell phones?" Johnny asked. "How'd you know?" Maria replied. "Just guessing and it makes alot of sense." "Makes sense how?" "If you want to know where someone is at all times just keep an eye on their cell phones." Johnny states. "Unfortunatly it takes money, skill and is highly illegal." "And if it saves your life?" Maria asks. "What then?" "It really doesn't matter." Angelito watched the couple walk into the resteraunt. As far as couples went they looked good, neatly dressed, attractive and compaired to most of the people in Mexico financially well off. Their dog on the other hand was a whole different story. He had bet at the dogfights and had seen the scars that it produced. Whatever the dog had survived wasn't a dog and had left a deep jagged scar across it's muzzle. It was not the animal of rich tourists begging to be mugged. He looked back at the couple. He started with the guy and gave him a closer look, he noticed that the guy was wearing black boots and had a knife clipped to his left pocket. On the other hand the girl looked harmless until he caught her eyes. They were a seductive green and he got a flash of something behind them that was a deadly as a rattlesnake. She then gave him a nod. Angelito went back to eating his buritto. He had already jumped a tourist today and he didn't need the sort of trouble that the couple would give him. Somehow he just knew that they were bad luck. “You evil fucking bastard.” Maria told the man in front of her. He had just told Roger to take Johnny out behind the restaurant and shoot him. “Now Maria is that any way to talk to your father.” The man scolded her. Emond Murphy was a career mercenary terrorist. As a teenager he was transporting guns for an active cell of the PIRA. By the time he was eighteen he had graduated from a Libyan ran terrorist training camp. Afterwards he had a promising career as a bank robber. Unfortunately his crew messed up and he was sent to Mexico. There he was snapped up by the drug cartels as a valuable freelance operative. “You may be my biological father, but you are not my fucking parent.” Maria told him her anger bubbling close to the surface. “Well in any case you know way too much to go running around free to run that dirty mouth of yours.” Her father told her. “Let alone that beating that you gave Juan.” “You know that there was bad blood between us. It was personal business that I ended, I have no ill will between his father and myself.” “Still you did beat the hell out of his son.” Her father told her. “That has caused a lot of bad blood.” Maria raised her .357 magnum above the table, she had forced the hammer back with the edge of her left palm. The room froze at the sight of the revolver. “I’m not going back…period.” “I would listen to the lady if I was you.” Johnny said from the back door. Not only was he unharmed but he had Roger’s Colt Law Enforcement Carbine in his hands. He had taken Roger by surprise, knocked him out cold with an open handed strike and had shot the pair of men with Roger. Now he was walking into a second gunfight in under a minute. Cra-Boom! Cra-Crack! Cra-Boom! Maria joined Johnny in shooting the three bodyguard with her father. The reports of the Ruger .357 and the Colt Law Enforcement Carbine mixed as the reacting bodyguards fell in a crossfire. When the men fell Maria got up and walked over to them. She looked down at the bodies and noticed the neat pairs of holes made by the carbine. The bodyguards had been wearing body armor but it hadn’t been rated to stop a rifle at close range. She looked back at her father, he had removed his pistol with two fingers and set it on the table. She walked to the front of the restaurant and waited for Johnny. The burst from the carbine and her father’s screaming made her look back. Her father had tried to pull his backup pistol from an ankle holster. Johnny had shot her father in the leg , severing it below the knee. She looked up at Johnny. “You did what you had to do now lets get out of here.” She told him. While Johnny had shot her father it was to save his own life. As it was they needed to get out of town before the cops started looking for them. Johnny Field stripped the carbine and dropped it just inside the door. He would have killed Maria’s father if she hadn’t been in the room. The man was a sociopath and a murderous thug. The man was the same sort of person who had killed her.
|
|
#37
12-17-2010, 01:48 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Johnny shut the door to his suburban. He felt drained of energy, not so much in a physical sense but more of a total bone deep drained. He looked over at Maria. The girl was shivering even though it was over a hundred and twenty inside the SUV.
“Johnny, I’m so sorry about this.” Maria says to him. “It wasn’t your fault.” Johnny answers. “Yes it was I’m the one who pissed them off.” Maria replies. “They did something I found to be going too far…told them to fuck off and killed anyone who tried to stop me.” “Define too far.” Johnny asks suddenly very serious. “It made the news in El Norte.” Maria answers after a pause. “They killed a cop and a couple of his kids. I won’t lie I’ve done a bunch of bad shit. But, some things are just wrong.” “So you are just walking away?” “Getting out before things get bad.” “Like a rat fleeing a sinking ship.” “Try sick of the blood and the pain.” Maria states. She pulls her sleeve back to expose a network of pale scars. “I’ve been through hell because of them. So hopefully I can find something money can’t buy.” “So how are you getting across the border?” Johnny asks. “I got a US passport with my birth name on it.” Maria answers. “I hope it is as legitimate as Domino says that it is as I would hate for her to be wrong about something.” Dominique closed her eyes and activated the computer system currently linked to her brain. The switch between the real world and the digital was uncomfortable with both the stabbing pain behind her eyes from the bright flash of light, auditory overstimulus brought on a nasty screech of feedback and various other sensations assaulted her. Once the system synced up with her mind she found herself in a virtual room. She had designed the programming herself, and had reasoned that a three dimensional environment was less stressful on the human mind. Even when one has an IQ that is literally off the charts. Dominique had done the calculations several years back and there were maybe a single handful of people on the planet with her level of intelligence in history. As it was the human mind was not designed to respond to or utilize computer code. As it was she needed some very complex translation programs in order to mentally interface with a computer without going completely insane. To Dominique sanity didn’t quite imply as she thought nothing like a normal human being. She could understand languages easy enough, currently she could understand the spoken word of a half dozen languages and could read about twice that written. Her issue was that when she wrote or spoke she was thinking a couple of paragraphs ahead of what she was trying to communicate. She usually ended up acting like a child and gesturing towards what she wanted, in essence becoming an idiot savant. A program notified her that it had gotten a facial recognition hit. Biometrics had come a long way since their beginning in tracking people. From fingerprints and tattoos to the current facial recognition software things had advanced. So had methods of changing ones appearance. Fortunately the human skull could not change its underlying shape. It also helped that Maria was an attractive young woman. Dominique giggled as Maria breezed past security that should have flagged her as being on a terrorist watch list. She decided then and there to put a thank you note among the next packet of viral software she sent to various Chinese Government hackers. She detested them like the computerized roaches they were. What they lacked in skill they made up for in numbers. Still their blatant noisy attacks made for great cover for those who wanted to be sneaky. Maria sat on a bench overlooking the Rio Grande. It was a simply amazing the amount of vehicular traffic going over the river. To pass the time she tried to mentally figure out how long it would take Johnny to reach her. After maria left Johnny’s truck, he crawled into the back and collapsed onto a bench seat. In some ways he was lucky in that it hadn’t been his first experience with mortal combat. So far he had avoided loosing control of his bodily functions. Emotionally after he got down off the combat high he hit post combat depression. “Fuck.” Was all he said as he sat up and closed his eyes. For a girl he had just met he had commited multiple felonies. In the US his actions would be considered justified. Hell in some parts of Texas he would get a medal. In mexico he would get a jail cell. Followed by cartel retaliation. “Hello again Johnny.” Maria said getting back into Johnny’s suburban. “You should have ran away.”
|
|
#38
12-17-2010, 01:55 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
It's nice you got around to writing it. What year does it take place in?
__________________
Can we start with part where Jayne gets knocked out by 90-pound girl? Hoban "Wash" Washburne (Alan Tudyk), Serenity You're every bit the detective that your followers on internet believe - Brainiac, Superman The Animated Series
|
|
#39
12-17-2010, 02:55 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
As far as the year the story takes place the setting was origionally 2020 but the year can be mor accuratly described as 15 years into the future. meaning that the events and technology in the stories do currently exist or have happened just they are reformed through the lens of this story.
|
|
#40
01-20-2011, 03:45 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
|
 |
|
|
Linear Mode
