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Old 09-09-2009, 04:11 AM
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Default Literary plot outline

Hey everyone,
From my Literary weapons thread you should know that i am slowly writing out a book. Recently I typed up a section of the plot and I'd like some opinions about the section of plot. I must warn everyone that I do deal with subjects that alot of people will find touchy and I let the reader make their own moral judgements.

Plot Outline

Maria wakes up.
Maria gets a message from Dominique.
Maria leaves her room and runs into a high Juan.
Juan is in the middle of narcotic induced psychosis.
Maria beats the hell out of him using a combination of barely remembered martial arts training and utterly ruthless brutality
Leaving Juan on the floor she heads into a bathroom to clean up.
Juan's father angrily confronts Maria about Juan. Maria shoves her .357 under his chin and tells him to reign in his son before someone treats him like a mad dog.
Maria runs to her room imputs a code into her PC and grabs a couple of Bail out bags as she leaves.
She tosses the bags into the same SUV that is taking Juan to the hospital. she tells everyone that she's taking him alone.
Don Tomasa orders a gunman to shoot Maria, he misses.
Don Tomasa gets a phonecall from Dominique. Just before Dominique's RPV blows away the gunman and the front gate.
Maria drops Juan off at the hospital.
She then visits a bunch of drop boxes for IDs, Money and other necessities.
Maria buys a VW Thing and transfers her stuff and the SUVs stash of guns into it.
Maria drives into the desert vaguely heading towards Juarez.
She stops in the middle of nowhere to vent and then buries most of the weapons.
+++
Johnny is walking down the street when he notices a cute girl with a dog.
He walks up to her and asks if he can help her.
After helping the girl get the dog watered they start walking together.
Maria puts her arm around Johnny's.
Johnny warns her that what she's doing with a strange guy isn't that safe and Maria replies that she has a gun.
They end up talking about violence.
Maria admits to Johnny that she just left the DeSilva organization and it is dangerous to be around her,
Johnny tells Maria that she reminds him of someone he lost and that he doesn't care.
Johnny offers her dinner.
While the couple is eating Maria's father arrives with goons.
Maria's father kills the dog when it gets between him and his daughter.
He then orders Johnny be taken out back.
Johnny is the one to walk back into the eatery.
After a short nasty one sided firefight the couple leaves out the back.
Maria stomps on Roger's neck.
They get to their vehicles and stash Maria's thing and her pistol.
latter after they have gotten away a shaking Maria asks Johnny why he didn't kill her father.
Maria uses her real ID to get across the border for the first time in a very long while.
+++
Maria ends up on a chair in Johnny's apartment.
She can't really sleep so she spends most of the night watching Johnny soundly sleep.
In the morning one of Johnny's apartment mates comments on Maria's scars.
Maria spends the next few day's getting an apartment under an assumed name and making plans for her future.
Over the next weekend Johnny takes Maria four-Wheeling and Maria really enjoys it.
Having found Johnny's Suburban to be a bit large for her tastes she buys a Bronco.
Maria starts looking up the family of a man she saw murdered.
She ends her days practicing various martial art techniques.
+++
Through Dominique and some electronic surveillance devices Maria learns of an Israeli assassin who has been sent after her.
Via google Maria finds the relative of the slain man.
Maria meets Dizzy and her daughter,
After Maria leaves Johnny talks with Dizzy.
Maria runs smack into her assassin and tries to talk him out of the job.
+++
Maria ends up in a hospital and tells the FBI, DEA, BATFE, State and local cops to all "kiss her ass".
Upon her release she dodges the press and starts walking home.
She receives a phone call from a Cherry Brant. Cherry is a DIA employee who Juan tried having killed due to her being assigned to watch the cartels of that part of the border.
The meet and Cherry takes Maria home with her. Maria politely turns down an offer to recruit her.
In the middle of the night Maria finds herself comforting Cherry's daughter who had a nightmare about the assassination attempt.
+++
The next day Johnny and Maria are talking about the incident when Gwen shows up.
Gwen and Maria get along like gasoline and a blowtorch. Maria finally shuts Gwen up by showing the scars on Maria's back.
+++
Meanwhile Dominique has been playing Electronic Viking with the DeSilva cartel's financial records.
+++
Johnny talks with Dizzy and gets tickets to a show for Maria and himself. Johnny and Maria enjoy the show and the company of their age group.
Maria notices Dizzy having a fling with a blonde in the back of a car.
After the show Johnny and Maria talk about Amber.
In the morning Johnny and Maria make love.
Maria and Dominique talk about relationships and Sexuality.
While hanging out with Johnny and his friends Maria is approached by Naomi Watts of the regional FBI office.
Idiot in an Impala tries to kill Maria with said FBI agent in the vehicle.
Johnny sets up a wilderness pack for Maria.
A corrupt cop visits Maria and leads a hit team to Maria.
Johnny is attacked by a lone gunman.
As soon as they can Johnny and Maria head out into the desert.
Through a front company Dominique helped set up Maria has a place far from Civilization.
The pair spend their time setting up the place and making love.
They are attacked by a rogue Mexican unit under the employ of the DeSilva Cartel.
When she gets back to civilization Maria confronts Cherry Brant and wants in on the group that's been quietly bleeding the DeSilva Cartel dry.
In exchange Maria gives Cherry proof that Juan was behind the attacks that killed two of her loved ones.
Johnny and Maria meet with the group that turns out to be a half dozen mostly American former Special forces operators.
The group tests the couple's skills and find Johnny has a 2,200+ round a month habit and Maria's very skilled with the design and manufacture of IEDs.
First target is Juan's little MAC-10 factory and the workers are taken down and it's made to look like a raid by another group.
Second target is a Ranch on the US side of the border that has given Maria a real hinky feeling.
Said ranch turns out to be part of a sexual trafficking ring.
Johnny shoots the surrendered workers and no one wants to stop him.
Third target is Tomasa DeSilva himself. He and his wife are killed, and somehow Juan survives.
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Old 09-09-2009, 04:29 AM
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Can you give me the abridged version of this plot?
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Old 09-09-2009, 04:54 AM
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no problem,
Basically it's you have a girl from a criminal family leave her father and his drug traficing pals. She meets up with a guy who was raised by a LEO. They try to be typical older teens young adults until they get tired of Maria's old Cartel trying to kill them both and end things really hard.
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Old 09-10-2009, 12:16 AM
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mmmmm.......any sex scenes.........
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Old 09-10-2009, 01:27 AM
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Yes there are going to be implied and a few sex scenes. I'm trying to portray the characters as human beings and not 2-D action movie type characters.
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Old 09-10-2009, 02:07 AM
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lol I was kidding but okay...
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Old 09-10-2009, 02:45 AM
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everyone has a reason for their actions and every action effects everything else.

Thus Maria and Johnny survive while other's do not.
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Old 09-10-2009, 05:34 PM
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A fellow writer, huh? Sounds like a book I'd buy. Maria sounds like my kind of girl.
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Last edited by Spartan198; 09-10-2009 at 05:36 PM.
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Old 09-10-2009, 09:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spartan198 View Post
A fellow writer, huh? Sounds like a book I'd buy. Maria sounds like my kind of girl.
I just write for fun in my free time(what little I have). Sure i would love to see things published but I honestly am not that good although i have seen worse writings than myself published as a series of novels. the Phoenix series with it's 7.62X5.56mm M-60 machineguns fireing 230 grain hollow points comes to mind.
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Old 10-24-2009, 03:18 AM
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I am also a writer myself. Infact, I'm working on a novel myself. It's about mercinaries in South Africa and it's set mostlt in the country and one part takes place in Mozambique. I'll start a new thread to give you more details.
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