imfdb.org  

Go Back   imfdb.org > The Forum > Guns & Movies

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 06-24-2010, 03:08 AM
Gunmaster45's Avatar
Gunmaster45 Gunmaster45 is offline
IMFDB Admin
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: New York, USA
Posts: 1,779
Default 9 Common Firearm Errors Hollywood Loves To Make

Request: Since it was requested I post this failed cracked article on here, please don't post until everything is completely done (it'll probably take a couple posts before I get everything on here. Thanks.

Anybody who has ever watched a movie in their life knows that guns are a very important part of the film industry. Even though California is probably one of the most anti-gun states out there, when it comes to cinema, guns have Cali by the short hairs. How badass could the film protagonist be unless he could take down hoards of half-wit henchmen with the newest and coolest guns? Respectively, very lame.


Pictured: Very Lame

Film armorers have the job of supplying these guns for films, which are blank converted and modified for whatever insane needs the film makers require, and also have most of the responsibility of making sure the actors and film makers don’t kill anybody with their sheer stupidity.

But even the smartest and most gun savvy of onset coordinators and armorers cannot fully stop the madness of Hollyweird, and thus in cinema today many firearms errors are present solely because they “look cool” or the director politely “doesn’t give a fuck”, including...

(in next post...)
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 06-24-2010, 03:44 AM
Gunmaster45's Avatar
Gunmaster45 Gunmaster45 is offline
IMFDB Admin
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: New York, USA
Posts: 1,779
Default

9. Guns Never Run Out of Bullets:
As seen in: Last Man Standing, Shoot ‘Em Up, Last Action Hero, Everything by John Woo, Everything by Michael Bay... basically every action movie ever made.

Now, for those of you who aren’t aware of this (prepare to have your mind BLOWN), firearms have a limited capacity of ammunition. Which can be exhausted. Quickly.

Because we cannot blatantly assume film makers are flat out witches (yet...), we have no choice but to call shenanigans on their fondness of raping the shit out of realism using crafty film editing. Unless you are a rather anal OCD psychopath who closely counts the number of shots fired from Ah-nuld’s Desert Eagle (slowly raises hand), most people don’t notice these errors. But once in a blue moon they are blatant. Extremely blatant. And I do mean that in the most redundant of senses.

Take “Last Man Standing” for instance, an action movie released in 1996 starring Bruce Willis and Christopher Walken, which retells the story of the 1964 spaghetti western “A Fistful of Dollars” starring Clint Eastwood in a more modern sense i.e., more guns, more violence, more boobs, more swearing, and more gritty voiceovers. Bruce plays John Smith, a lone gunman who dual wields a pair of beautiful Colt M1911A1 pistols in .45 ACP in cross draw holsters. For the record, in film it seems any man named “Smith” or “John Smith” is a gun wielding badass.


No exceptions

Every time Smith draws his .45’s, a hail of 40-50 bullets follow with no ceasing and an immense amount of firepower. While really cool to watch and all, a standard M1911A1 has a magazine capacity of seven rounds. Eight if you load one in the chamber first.

Take a moment and re-do that entire film in your head with that realism in mind... yep, he’s dead already. He does reload plenty of times in the movie, granted, it’s just he does so when someone wrote it in the script. Not even when the slides lock back three. times. in. a. row. does he run out of ammo. Not until the badass reload scenes come up.


Aww, we can’t stay mad at that badassery.

And in case you think I’m just picking on this movie, here’s some screengrabs from other films which follow similar suit.


Last Action Hero.

The Rock.

I could do this all day...

(more coming soon...)
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 06-26-2010, 02:32 PM
MT2008's Avatar
MT2008 MT2008 is offline
IMFDB & Forum Admin
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,537
Default

Nice! Keep 'em coming.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 07-01-2010, 08:33 PM
PersonOfInterest PersonOfInterest is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 238
Default

I find this far more entertaining then the cracked.com article. I await the rest of it with hopeful anticipation.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 07-01-2010, 08:36 PM
S&Wshooter's Avatar
S&Wshooter S&Wshooter is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,912
Default



That reminds me of my friend. Total Star Trek/ Star Wars geek
__________________
Get off of my property


http://www.introvertisland.com
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 07-01-2010, 10:47 PM
Gunmaster45's Avatar
Gunmaster45 Gunmaster45 is offline
IMFDB Admin
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: New York, USA
Posts: 1,779
Default

8. Dual-wielding Guns Shown Practical
As seen in: The Matrix trilogy, Last Man Standing, Shoot ‘Em Up, Woo flicks, etc., etc.,

Lets stop and think of the logic in this madness. If I have one gun, I can kill people. If I have two guns, can’t I kill even MORE people? This is clearly what Hollywood thinks.


Although Gary Busey might agree.

There’s actually a quote from Hard Boiled, a John Woo film starring Chow Yun-Fat, where his commanding officer quips, “Give a guy a gun and he’s Superman, give him two and he’s God!”


Pictured: God (according to Hong Kong action cinema

Anybody who has every fired a gun with one hand before knows it’s not easy to hit something because of human error. Now putting a gun in not only your dominant hand, but your non-dominant hand as well (your hand that has no skill at aiming, trigger control, recoil control, masturbation skills...), your chances of hitting anything are actually reduced.

Now because movie firearms can be reduced in weight and blanks create no felt recoil, Keanu can fire off a pair of Heckler & Koch MP5Ks without the slightest of worries.


"Like, totally dude."

Also, if you use enough slow motion, pretty effects and pretty actresses, you can make people forget things.

Like a petite woman in her 40’s could not dual wield two .50 AE Desert Eagles with such finesse, because a full grown man or woman has enough trouble firing one with two hands.


Hollywood vs. Realism

In short, realism gives people their just desserts... eagle.\

(more still to come, these take forever to make...)
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 07-01-2010, 10:56 PM
PersonOfInterest PersonOfInterest is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 238
Default

How do recoil operated firearms work with blanks?
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 07-01-2010, 11:38 PM
S&Wshooter's Avatar
S&Wshooter S&Wshooter is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,912
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by PersonOfInterest View Post
How do recoil operated firearms work with blanks?
Magic and shit
__________________
Get off of my property


http://www.introvertisland.com
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 07-01-2010, 11:51 PM
PersonOfInterest PersonOfInterest is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 238
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by S&Wshooter View Post
Magic and shit
I'm like, 99% sure that can't be correct.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 07-02-2010, 12:01 AM
S&Wshooter's Avatar
S&Wshooter S&Wshooter is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,912
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by PersonOfInterest View Post
I'm like, 99% sure that can't be correct.
Miracles then?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-agl0pOQfs
__________________
Get off of my property


http://www.introvertisland.com
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 11:34 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.