Mercenary Story Rewrite (Contiuned)

[Swordfish941]

Originally Posted by k9870

does the enforcer still kill random people for no reason, loot their stuff, and shoot his own men for failure?

Yes he does. I haven't been writing in a while since I'm suffering from writer's block.

[k9870]

Writing about people's backgrounds is an idea, it may end your writers block too. Stuff like when they all met, how he got the boat, etc.

[Swordfish941]

Originally Posted by k9870

Writing about people's backgrounds is an idea, it may end your writers block too. Stuff like when they all met, how he got the boat, etc.

Thanks for the help. I think that the Merc's only use the boat for transportation, and that they have apartments back in Cape Town. I'll write about Greg's first.

[Swordfish941]

In my original draft, Greg and Ares pay a visit to Sharlto Blair, a cannabis smoking arms dealer to buy supplies. I've decided to add him in my new draft, and he is visit by Greg and Katie. Some of the guns he tries to sell to them include an Uzi fitted with a wooden buttstock ("it's pretty to find one of these in this condition"), a MP-40 ("The Schmeisser submachine gun; a common weapon used in the Bush War"), a Sig P210 ("a nifty, little pistol"), and an M20 Super Bazooka ("The Bazooka; it's a heavy bastard, but it gets the job done"). However, Greg tells him that he's not "trying to start the Nicaraguan Revolution all over again" and buys a FN FAL 50.00 along with a bag full of MkII hand grenades, a case of 185 grain .45 Hollow point bullets, and a few spare magazines for the FAL. Katie buys a Browning Hi-Power pistol, intending to give it to Lynn.

[k9870]

125 grain? Um, thats a 9mm/38 sized bullet weight, not a 45 (most loads in 185-230 range.)

You should have him pick up some .32 ammo chief was having trouble finding.

[Swordfish941]

One of Greg's talents is being an amateur bartender, some of his creation include a daiquiri made with Bacardi 151 rum and Grenadine, a Revolution (which consists of three shots of dark rum, three shots of Jose Cuervo Gold Tequila, and a half a can of Coca Cola), and a drink made of Schnapps, Cognac, and Kirsch, served in an old fashion glass on the rocks.

[k9870]

Chief is a cigar aficionado.

[Swordfish941]

Katie's Somali attire consists of a black Flak jacket, a black tank top, leather pants, a belt to hold her pistol and knife, and a pair of jump boots.

[k9870]

leather pants in hot weather?

[Mandolin1]

Avoid black stuff (it's Africa, it gets hot. Try khaki instead) As for the tank top...not sure. Ok, so it's Africa and very hot but find me 3 movies where the hot chick who kills people isn't wearing a tank top. Seems kind of cliche. Other than that, no real problems.