Literary plot outline

[Swordfish941]

Hey Rockwolf, I got a few ideas for your book.

- A toture scene where where Johnny shoots the fingers off a DeSilva peon named Rallo Ramirez and cauterizes them with a cigarrette lighter (I got it from "Man on Fire").

- Johnny and Maria are making love in a hotel room. A DeSilva hitman sneaks in and tries to kill them with a suppressed Browning Hi-Power, but Maria grabs her .357 Magnum off a nightstand and shoots him with it.

That's all I have, but you could put it in the story somehow. Now could you give some story ideas for my book? I'm stuck at a part where the crew stops in Port Elizabeth to get supplies. Also who would you want to play your charecters if they adapt your book for a film?

[Rockwolf66]

Johnny and Maria are Professionals and as such they don't torture people. There are much better ways to get answers out of someone.

As far as someone breaking into their room while they are enjoying each other's company....Not happening in the three story arcs i have for them so far.

[Spartan198]

Originally Posted by Swordfish941

Hey Rockwolf, I got a few ideas for your book.

- A toture scene where where Johnny shoots the fingers off a DeSilva peon named Rallo Ramirez and cauterizes them with a cigarrette lighter (I got it from "Man on Fire").

- Johnny and Maria are making love in a hotel room. A DeSilva hitman sneaks in and tries to kill them with a suppressed Browning Hi-Power, but Maria grabs her .357 Magnum off a nightstand and shoots him with it.

That's all I have, but you could put it in the story somehow. Now could you give some story ideas for my book? I'm stuck at a part where the crew stops in Port Elizabeth to get supplies. Also who would you want to play your charecters if they adapt your book for a film?

As far as the torture scene, I gotta agree with Rockwolf that there are better ways to get information out of people. I've always thought that the fear of being tortured is more likely to get someone to talk than the actual torturing is. Plus you've always gotta consider the legitimacy of information gained from torture.

The hotel scene, however, peaks my interest and I might use something similar to it in one of my own stories, if you don't mind (my character uses USP45s instead, though; she's not a fan of revolvers or magnum calibers ).

[Swordfish941]

Here is yet even more firearms seen in my novel:

- Shartlo Blair, the arms dealer that Greg and Ares visit, offers them a FN FAL fitted with wooden furniture and a telescopic sight and a RPK light machine gun, but they decline. Instead they buy two suppressors used for .45 caliber handguns, a box of 40mm HE grenades, and a dozen 30 round STANAG magazines.

- RENAMO rebels that the Group first run into are armed with SKS rifles.

- Luca's right hand man Rafael carries a PPSh-41 submachine gun while hunting Greg.

- The leader of the soldiers Raymond and the private David both carry Vektor R5 rifles.

Here's my basic outline for the Mozambique part: the group is ambushed and Greg gets captured by RENAMO. He is taken to thier base (an old church) for interrogation. He is placed in a room with his hands tied around chair that he is seated in. Luca, Rafael, and two other RENAMO rebels are in the room. When Greg doesn't answer thier questions, Rafael would hit him across the face with the butt of his gun. They are interrupted by gunfire outside the church.

Luca and Rafael leave to investagate and place the two men in charge. Greg uses the last of his strengh, forces himself up on his feet and tackles one of the guards. His hands are freed and he takes the guards Walther P38 and shoots the other guard. He retrieves his weapons and bag, and takes the Walther and the other guard's Webley Mk VI for himself. When he exits the room, he is spotted by Rafael, who fires his gun at him. Thinking fast, Greg jumps out a window near him. Rafael runs out after him and tackles him. They wrestle and Greg ends it by emptying the magazine of his .45 into Rafael's stomach.

Greg takes refuge in the remains of a bombed out cafe. Later that night he tries to commit suicide, knowing that the rebels would soon find him and that he is far away from the group. However, he stops by the fact that he wants to see Katie again. He leaves the next morning in search of his friends. Greg is then ambushed by a group of RENAMO rebels in a truck that has a DShk machine gun on it. The truck is suddenly knocked off course by an explosion and the men on the truck are killed by an unknown assilant. It turns out that the assilant is Ares. They have a brief reunion and Ares leads him to an apartment that his group has been using as a base.

Ares reveals that the group of soldiers that they were suppose to meet have all been killed with the exception of two. The first is the leader named Raymond while the second is a private named David. They have been holed up in the apartment for three days.

[Alcatrazz]

You should totally have a scene where someone shoots someone with a single shot from a suppressed glock, then, as if having second thoughts, puts the 33 round magazine in and unscrews the suppressor, and unloads into the victim's back.

[Swordfish941]

Originally Posted by Alcatrazz

You should totally have a scene where someone shoots someone with a single shot from a suppressed glock, then, as if having second thoughts, puts the 33 round magazine in and unscrews the suppressor, and unloads into the victim's back.

If you are refering to me, I veto the idea. It sounds plainly ridiculous. Plus my characters don't use Glocks, but rather use weapons that are available to them (.45's, shotguns, Kalashniklovs, etc.). Glock's are too expensive for them and it costs a large amount of Rands (South African currency).

[Swordfish941]

I'm possibly the only person on this thread who's going the preferences, appearances, and background of my characters. Anyway, here it goes:

- Greg is a white, 28 year old man. He was born in Liverpool, England but moved to South Africa when he was four. His father worked as a policeman while his mother was a housewife. Greg is described as having dark brown hair (which he keeps in a mullet), hazel eyes, and whiskers (he shaves every two or three days to keep it from growing into a beard). He's very genorous and open minded, always willing to give his opinion. He smokes Marlboro's cigarrettes, smoking one packet every two weeks and lights them with a Zippo lighter. His favorite drink is rum, usually dark rum served on the rocks, but he limits himself to two drinks a day. He likes to listen to classical and Big Band music. His best friend is Ares and his girlfriend is Katie.

- Ares (real name Anthony) is 31 year old man with a mixed heritage of Samoan and white. His mother was Samoan and his father is of Dutch desciant. His mother died during childbirth with him. His father owns a resturant in East London where Ares grew up. He has dirty blond hair and blue eyes. His skin has a light tan to it. He also has a muscular build. He hates to get involed in war, rather preffering to do small jobs. He likes the works of Ernest Hemingway, John Steinbeck, and Fyodor Dostoyevsky. He smokes cigars (preferably Cubans) and uses a matchbook to light them. His favorite drink is brandy or whiskey, served on the rocks. He is best friends with Greg and currently is in no romantic relationship.

- Kate "Katie" Barkley is a 26 year old woman. She has a heritage of Dutch and Italian. Her mother suffered from Ovarian cancer, inspiring her to become a doctor. She is a Med school graduate and is an expert in cardiology. She has long, light brown hair, green eyes, and medium sized breasts. She is a former Marijuana smoker, a fact which she hids from Greg. She rarely drinks, put prefers Castle Lager beer when she does.She doesn't do mercenary work like everyone else on the ship, but prefers to treat thier wounds. While the others are working, she prefers to pass her time reading, watching films in the break room, and go target practicing with her stainless M1911A1 (a gift from Greg). She is good friends with Ares and Johnny and is Greg's girlfriend.

[Swordfish941]

I need some help from you guys. I'm having trouble figuring out what kind of helicopter that the Mozambique Army uses. At first I thought of using a Mil Mi-24, but decided agianst it because they coul defeat Renamo to easily. I'm looking for a transport helicopter that could be found around the southern portian of Africa. Also could anyone suggest a few scenes for my story, I'm kind of running on empty.

[S&Wshooter]

Something French maybe? Or whatever Russia used before the Hind?

[Swordfish941]

Originally Posted by S&Wshooter

Something French maybe? Or whatever Russia used before the Hind?

An AS 532 Eurocopter is a good canidate, probaly with a FN MAG as a door gun. Anyway, do you have any suggestions for scenes? I'm stuck at the arms deal with th Shartlo Blair character.