Shrine of the Mall Ninja

Mandolin1 · #1 05-01-2010, 01:13 AM

Some guy on the Internet tok it upon himself to collect all teh works of Gecko45, the original mall ninja. Here's the link: http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/

Just be sure to put down any food or drink before reading, lest you choke on reeding lines like this: BTW A one time experiementation while in the military, does not make one a homosexual

S&Wshooter · #2 05-01-2010, 01:19 AM

Jesus Christ, that Gecko dude is a twit

Bugabear · #3 05-01-2010, 11:05 PM

I thought I posted stupid comments. I got halfway before I closed it. Did he really ask for a G36 for patrolling a mall? And did he really say that he carries a compact M4 under his jacket? This guy should post on Youtube. Think of all the subscribers he could get. Looks like anywhere this guy pops up a flame war gets started.

Swordfish941 · #4 05-02-2010, 01:17 AM

Mall Ninja's are nothing but a bunch of losers who live in their parent's basement and are on a crappy diet of Hot Pockets, Microwavable Burritos, and energy drinks like Monster or Rockstar. Plus you don't need a freakin' assualt rifle to patrol a mall. You just need a really cool lookin' pistol. I prefer a Walther P99 fitted with a Walther Laser Module and a barrel mounted weight compensator.

MT2008 · #5 05-02-2010, 01:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bugabear

I thought I posted stupid comments. I got halfway before I closed it. Did he really ask for a G36 for patrolling a mall? And did he really say that he carries a compact M4 under his jacket? This guy should post on Youtube. Think of all the subscribers he could get. Looks like anywhere this guy pops up a flame war gets started.

The site says that the posts date back to 2001. Presumably, this guy (whoever he is in real life) has grown much older since then, and looks back upon the "Mall Ninja" experience as something stupid he did when he was a kid.

Then again, maybe not.

Spartan198 · #6 05-03-2010, 03:03 PM

Behold, it's Gecko45!

Here I thought our guys and girls in Afghanistan and Iraq were in tough situations, but the world of mall security must be one lifelong firefight. I wonder what the SOP is for laying out covering fire from a golf cart.

Zulu Two Six · #7 05-03-2010, 09:00 PM

that's the first thing that came to my mind when i read that too.
gecko is obviously an over-imaginative 8 year old who knows too much about firearms

MT2008 · #8 05-03-2010, 09:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spartan198

Behold, it's Gecko45!

Here I thought our guys and girls in Afghanistan and Iraq were in tough situations, but the world of mall security must be one lifelong firefight. I wonder what the SOP is for laying out covering fire from a golf cart.

That can't be him, because (1.) Paul Blart is older than 18, and (2.) he actually has a job at a mall.

Yournamehere · #9 05-03-2010, 11:13 PM

If you haven't read the last post with the firefight at the bottom, finish reading. That being said, this shit is just ridiculous, I don't know how else to put it without spewing text everywhere.

MT2008 · #10 05-03-2010, 11:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yournamehere

If you haven't read the last post with the firefight at the bottom, finish reading. hat being said, this shit is just ridiculous, I don't know how else to put it without spewing text everywhere.

Too late, I failed to heed the advise.

I didn't know that Asian street gangs carried automatic weapons and NVGs just to steal a "Mortal Kombat" game from the mall.