Mercenary Story Rewrite (Contiuned)

[BurtReynoldsMoustache]

I'm just not buying Elijah Wood as a mercenary. It's like Casey Affleck being a hardened PI who wins bar fights in Gone Baby Gone. Or Keira Knightley charging balls out into a column of Roman legionnaires in nothing but her wooden lingerie in King Arthur.

[S&Wshooter]

Originally Posted by BurtReynoldsMoustache

I'm just not buying Elijah Wood as a mercenary. It's like Casey Affleck being a hardened PI who wins bar fights in Gone Baby Gone. Or Keira Knightley charging balls out into a column of Roman legionnaires in nothing but her wooden lingerie in King Arthur.

Yeah, Elijah Wood is a bit too frail looking to play a mercenary

[Swordfish941]

Here are mental images of S&Wshooter's mercs for future reference:

Pieter Van Zyl


Sean


Mac Diesel


George

[Swordfish941]

And Cooper (the first to get killed):

[S&Wshooter]

Steve Austin is who I imagined too

[Swordfish941]

To my critics: Sometimes casting against type is a good thing. Elijah can just gain 20 pounds of muscle, go through gun and knife training, and adopt a South African Accent.

[k9870]

How does cooper die? any plan yet?

[Swordfish941]

Originally Posted by BurtReynoldsMoustache

I'm just not buying Elijah Wood as a mercenary. It's like Casey Affleck being a hardened PI who wins bar fights in Gone Baby Gone. Or Keira Knightley charging balls out into a column of Roman legionnaires in nothing but her wooden lingerie in King Arthur.

So you saying you can see Jackie, Fez, Saul from Pineapple Express, and Sabertooth as mercenaries, but not Frodo?

[BurtReynoldsMoustache]

Originally Posted by Swordfish941

So you saying you can see Jackie, Fez, Saul from Pineapple Express, and Sabertooth as mercenaries, but not Frodo?

Mila Kunis was in Max Payne and The Book Of Eli. Liev Schreiber has played a variety of manly parts. James Franco and Wilmer Valderrama could pull it off if they bulked up. I can not imagine Elijah Wood as a bulked up hardass, he's too skinny, too frail looking, he has a very soft voice.

[Swordfish941]

Originally Posted by BurtReynoldsMoustache

I can not imagine Elijah Wood as a bulked up hardass, he's too skinny, too frail looking, he has a very soft voice.

You're mischaracterizing Greg. He's not some badass. He's a stern man who dishes out discipline when it's needed. You cliche-ing him. Plus he isn't bulked up. He just has burly arms.