What guns not to have

[Yournamehere]

Fuck dude, this is downright brilliant! It's like the gun haters ball!

If the internet is right, I'm just gonna buy a baseball bat and skip a gun altogether, for fear it might explode in my hand or just piss my attacker off due to weak bullets. But wait, should I get a wood or aluminum bat, there has to be some emssage board that can steer me in the right direction............lol