Ridiculous gun stories you've heard.
 

I'm starting this topic because I heard a real zinger the other day, and I couldn't help but share it.

I've got this coworker who, while we were discussing Call of Duty and eventually guns in general, shared this one with me. Apparently, he's got a brother who either is or was a Navy SEAL. He's 7'2", 350, and because of that size, carries a full-auto Desert Eagle .50AE.

Now, while the other stuff seemed fantastical to me, guess what I zeroed in on first. To be honest, I let him go - didn't even begin to argue, because I work with the guy and I don't need that kind of drama. But the whole time after he mentioned the fully automatic Desert Eagle, I'm just looking at him, thinking, "Do you wanna know how I know you're full of shit?"

The normal 7-round magazine for a .50AE-chambered Desert Eagle is about as big as my (outdated) cell phone. He says that the gun has an 18-round extended magazine. Now, maybe I would have believed him (well, tried at the very least) if he just said that the guy carried a Desert Eagle, and left it at that. But full-auto? I went home that night chuckling at that.

Has anyone tried to pass off blatant, raging bullshit as fact upon you before? And what did you do about it?

I know this guy who told me he killed a deer with a pair of Liberator pistols, claiming they were semi autos.

I had a drunk tell me once (while I was on crime scene perimeter duty - yawn) that he was hit with a 50 caliber once - in the knee. He didn't even have a limp. I looked at him and said "Baloney". He started mouthing off and I told him that he could either leave the area or be charged with Resisting & Obstructing. I was stretching things a little bit there, but he left.

I'm sure over the years I've heard equally outrageous accounts, but right now the 50 caliber is the one I remember.

Had a guy I worked at the local arena with while I was in university tell me he had a friend that owned 4 full-auto M16s, and that they shot them at the local gravel pit all the time.

I can believe ONE and that they shoot it sometimes. Cause people in America can get those.

I was at Cabela's the other day and heard some black people bragging about how awesome Hi-point guns are.

He would be a freakin' amputee if he got hit in the leg with a .50 caliber bullet.

A friend of mine tried to tell me he was a Marine and an Afghan veteran, sent home after being hit twice in extremedies by an AK-74. I'm like "okay that can happen" and let it be. He then tells me he owns his own custom Romanian AK-74 that he had built by a gunsmith friend, but what drew me in was he said it had an underfolding stock. Most of us know that the AK-74 abandoned the AKS style stock in favor of a side folder, so I asked to see pictures of the rifle. He sends me a picture of an underfolding Romanian AKS-47 style rifle. I immediately begin to point out everything that was wrong with his description and the picture, the stock, the magazine curve, the lack of magazine dimples, basically everything that makes it not a 5.45 gun. His excuse is that his gunsmith buddy built the rifle from scratch on a 7.62 gun and converted all the magazines to take 5.45 rounds instead of 7.62 rounds. Bullshit. I call him on it, tell everyone I know, and one of my ACTUAL Marine buddies enters his name in a database and it turns out he was not only lying about the gun, but his service history. I've since laughed at and reprimanded him for his obvious lies, but he apologized and we're still friends.

Pic of the "AK-74" he sent me if you all want to see it:
http://img205.imageshack.us/img205/9473/lbvlaidout.jpg

And if this was the US I might believe him. However the only way to legally own a FA auto weapon in Canada is to have had it since 1978 (and this guy was 25), and you definately cannot go shoot it in a gravel pit.

here's one from a guy who was Marine intelligence. "The reason the US Military switched over to the M9 was the fact that the Colt frames cept cracking and Colt never could figure out how to fix them."

Personally he's an ok guy to hang out with but he has some serious "I was in intelligence and I know everything." issues.

Now if he had been talking about how Beretta frames had been cracking and hitting people in the face then He would have been talking about something that is a known fact.

This isn't a ridiculous gun story, but it's a mention because it involves talking about a gun.

I was working at a Chinese place once and answered the phone. This guy who sounds black and on top of that, sounds like he's trying and I say trying to talk gangsta to me. First it sounded ok but then he asked for a dog. Of course, I didn't understand and he ask do we cook dogs? So I replied and said that we're Chinese, Chinese people don't eat dogs, those are Koreans. We seemed to just be joking, but then this guy seriously wants us to cook a dog for him. He also mentioned that he's got a dog fresh for us to do it. At that point, it was getting weird and I was thinking if I was getting set up for some prank, but I rolled with it, repeating that we don't do that, and I'm not going to kill a dog. He went on saying he'll do it.

Now here's the part that got interesting. I refused and told him look somewhere else and he said if I don't do this, he'll have to come over here with "some of my boys" and mentioned he had a double barrel shotgun and start something with me. I'm pretty sure what I said next might have been stupid, but I encouraged him somewhat and calling his bullshit. I turned to the 4 cops that were just starting to have their dinner and I wasn't really worried. Police stop by on a daily basis for fried rice and egg rolls all the time. There corner I work at always has a cop car sitting there and watching for speeders and this guy obviously hasn't been to my restaurant before if he's trying to threaten me, but really, I just think he's fucking with me.

I talked to the cops, who were regulars, about this and mentioned it might be just a prank call and I would have let it go but when some guy say he'll come over with his buddies with a shotgun, I take that as a threat.

Luckily the situation didn't turn bad, and the cops didn't really do anything but report it and requested the ones patrolling the area to be on the look out.

My buddy told me to make a full report of this and get the cops to trace the number, because my caller ID couldn't get this guy's number, otherwise, I would have told the cops the asshole's number

So yeah, this is my story. I might not carry a gun with me, but at any given time, there's a cop stopping by for Chinese and he has a gun.

I would have liked to see the look on that guy's face when he walked in with that shotgun and saw all the cops.

I'd quote Robocop 3 and say "How does it feel to be a rocket scientist?"

The thing about that is, the frames weren't cracking - the slides were. I believe the reason was a combination of some metallurgical issues with a particular run of guns that were given to the SEALs (who experienced the majority of the reported problems) and the ammunition used by the SEALs, which was a good deal hotter than anything else in existence aside from handloads.

When I used to hang out on airsoft message boards, I heard many gun stories that smelled like BS. These stores weren't necessarily "ridiculous" individually, but collectively, what struck me as ridiculous was the absurdly high number of (mostly) teenage boys who claimed to have fired weapons that most gun owners can never hope to go near in their lives. Everyone on a typical airsoft message board has fired full-auto M4s and H&Ks, yet almost nobody's ever heard of (let alone shot) a Ruger 10/22.

In general, I find that when airsofters talk about real guns, they sound like virgins talking about sex.

Are you sure? I had always heard the frames would crack, causing the slides to fly back at the shooter. Since the frames are alloy and the slides are steel, this also makes more sense.

It's the slides that would crack, the 92FS has a slide retention device (not sure what the actual name is) on the frame. That's really the only difference the F and FS. The weak point on them is at the locking block area. The Beretta Brigadier is more beefed up in that area.

But it would seem more logical that it would be the frame, it being made of alloy instead of the steel slide.

That is a damned good analogy, and hits the nail right on the head.

It was indeed the slides that were cracking, around the locking lug area. They have to cut out the slides on the inside so the locking mechanism will work (which is in turn what makes the guns so bulky and top heavy). The DOD had a few examples that broke and caused the rear of the slide to fly off, though these were mostly French made slides which had poor metallurgy, and Beretta pistols made in the USA rather than Italy where the standards were different. Thus bore the 92FS, which is EXACTLY the same as the 92F, but the hammer pin is oversized on the right side, and a cut is made into the slide. This is the "slide retention device" that predator20 mentioned, just a bigger hammer pin and a cut. He's also right about the Brigadiers, they are just 92s with heavier, beefed up slides. Frames cracking is a myth and nothing else. I and no one else I've talked to has made reference to or talked about frames cracking. The slide deal is more common knowledge, though.

so man I was liek giving it to this girl right? and when Im erect its like 19 inches long rite? So I'm just givin it to her so hard the floor cracks under my weight and we fell onto this woman in the room below, and she totly joined in man.

i hate it when people ask me about something they ''know'' the answer to.
if you dont know, dont fucking ask....but i get the point, its not really you...its a teenage virgin

While I was reading it, I realized I´ve never played Airsoft :confused:.

Paintball is better.

As a former Airsofter, playing on a team, I've fought with and against cops, and military guys. The leader of my team was former British Paratrooper and Airsoft is just more hardcore. People wear correct camo, the guns look real, reloads real and the tactics are real. At the end of the day, we don't have paint on our shirts.

There's a huge difference between tactical training scenarios with professionals and running around your friends backyard taking endless potshots at each other from 40 feet away. Most airsofting is akin to the latter. Also the paint is water soluble and ensures that people know if you've been hit.

letes not turn this into a paintball vs. airsoft thread. that's not what it is

To be fair, paintball would be a million times better with cops and soldiers too.

to be fair, i dont care...shut the hell up newbie
i dont want any arguments about stupid crap like that

Agreed. Although personally, I prefer(ed) airsoft, back when my parents wouldn't let me play with real guns. :D

You're a mean one...

i can be mean, and smart at the same time

So why be mean?

Emm... he smells like POI...

it helps inforce it.

and no markost, i dont ever want to be like that prick. thank you for correcting me

Something is wrong with you.

Actually, the noob is the one who smells like him, not you :D.

I didn't know paintball was so hated here. :(

It's not hated here, it's just that most of the guys on here are kind of bad at expressing their opinions without being a little rude or know it all-ish. EDIT: To be fair to the other members, flat out saying "paintball is better" and then saying that most airsoft is backyard battle kinda stuff is a bit ignorant, so you're asking for an argument really.

I see the merits in paintball, but I feel they are replicated in Airsoft pretty well, and you can also buy airsoft guns that resemble actual weapons, and that sells it for me. Between those two that is, I'd rather just shoot real guns any day.

A big round of applause for real guns, ladies and gentlemen.
No matter if you're shooting plastic balls or paint-filled plastic balls, you can't quite make up for the lack of gunsmoke.

Cordite, black powder, any and all of it excite the senses. This, is getting worryingly close to the fake pornographic post I wrote earlier.

The short and long-rifle of it is, guns rule.

I have a somewhat embarassing gun story: about 3 years ago, when my AR was brand new, I took it with me when I went shooting with my friend and his girlfriend. We shoot .22's and our M1 Carbine for a little while and I figure it's time to run a mag or two through my Stag. I picke it up, load it and then notice that the gun is just an empty shell. Apparently, when my father went to put the scope on it he cleaned it first and then forgot to put the gun back together all the way

So was the bolt missing or the buffer spring? Cause I assume the barrel is still there cause you'd notice if the barrel is missing.