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Mandolin1 09-03-2010 03:01 AM

Bond vs Bourne vs Bauer
Who do you think would win if they fought each other? You'd have to rule out gadget (Bond wins by killing the other 2 with a hail of fire from his remote-control, bullet-proof flying car, then finishes them off with his wrist dart gun) or supporting organizations (Bourne hasn't got one and the other can use satellites to "cheat"). Disclaimer: I've seen all 3 Bourne movies, the first 7 hours of Season 1 of 24, and no James Bond films.
Personally, I think Bond and Bauer have been around too long. Bond, who's still around only due to stupid villains and bad guys who can't shoot straight, should at least (after 22 Bond girls) have an STD that forces him to retire and Bauer should either be in prison for ignoring the law to bring down various criminals or retired after season 5. How does a guy spend 18 months getting tortured in a Chinese prison and get his job back? The Chinese should know EVERYTHING about CTU and he should be a total wreck.
As for their weapon, Bond is a a disadvantage, since he has a little 32. PPK, rather than the 9mm weapons that Jason and Lack prefer. Also, Bond has wildly stupid villains (irradiate the gold in Fort Knox to drive up the price of gold worldwide? Wipe out all mankind from space? and other dumb plots) and is dumb himself. Spies/assassins don't walk into a bar, have drink with their target, and announce that they're the guy who took out 15 other maniacal billionaires. Bauer? Let's see: in the beginning of season 1, his boss is ambushed in a building and calls Jack. Rather than get a half-dozen co-workers to help him, he goes alone, with just a pistol. Uh, I thought the No. 2 rule of gunfights, right after "bring a gun", is "bring a bigger gun than the other guy" So he goes, boss gets killed, and Jack take the incriminating card back with him...only to confide in the PERSON THE CARD SAID WAS THE BAD GUY!!! Anyway, Bourne improvises, never breaks a law if he can help it (Not often, I admit) and generally seems much smarter that the other two guys. Jason just seems like a more intelligent person and a better spy.

Sorry if this seems disjointed, confused, or biased, it's late. And please no other film characters either.

FirearmFan 09-03-2010 06:22 AM

I think both Bourne and Bauer are significantly more badass than Bond. Don't get me wrong I like all the Bond movies and the new Daniel Craig version of Bond is a bit more hardcore but I don't think he stands up to Bourne or Bauer.

Bourne is highly trained in multiple facets of kick-assery including short and long range weapons and hand to hand combat. I believe in the movies he used a modified form of Eskrima/Kali.

Bauer is also highly trained with years of military and law enforcement experience including Special Forces and S.W.A.T. prior to his years in Counter Terrorism if my memory serves me correctly.

The one advantage I see for Bauer over Bourne is that he is much more ruthless. If a puppy were to get in the way of Bauer and his enemy he would kill the puppy and use its body to beat his enemy to death, whereas I think Bourne might pet it and maybe try to help find its owner. Hand to hand without guns though I don't think Jack could take Jason.

Excalibur 09-03-2010 01:14 PM

You need to WATCH at least one Bond movie for your argument to count.

Spades of Columbia 09-03-2010 01:37 PM

Bond now uses a 9mm, the last two he had walther P99. Boure and bond could take bauer in hand to hand...with guns it would be whoever would have the drop...and you forgot one little detail...Ethan Hunt would kill them all!

Mandolin1 09-03-2010 01:43 PM

Thanks, I'm not interested. First, for the same reason I've never tried watching Star Trek: Too many movies. Trilogy, OK. 22 movies? I'll pass. Also, I'm not interested in a guy who thinks a .32 ACP is worth carrying when he knows he's going to have to shoot someone, can't accomplish anything without a magic gadget, and only fights stupid villains while having sex with beautiful woman with embarrassingly stupid names. I have read Dr. No (the book). Anyway, who do you think would win?

Mandolin1 09-03-2010 01:46 PM

I said, please no other movie characters. I don't want a 8-way fight because everyone adds their own favorite character. Start a new thread if you want, but leave this one to the three J.B.s

Spades of Columbia 09-03-2010 02:42 PM

If your not interested in a guy who thinks a .32 ACP is worth carrying then why are you asking about him. Whats the point of this if you just trash talk a character that you dont know much about. Your comparing modern day character to a guy that got his claim to fame in the 60's and 70's and you dont want to hear what bond has become in recent years with Craig. Real answer...based on what they can do...Bourne wins...Bauer is just a lost boy on the small screen...and Bond is damn near a God level with his unbeatable tactics in 22 movies and counting that he wouldn't even show up to the fight because there aint no ladies.

funkychinaman 09-03-2010 05:56 PM

- I think a lot of this depends on which Bond. Daniel Craig can probably kick some ass. Roger Moore, probably not as much.

- Bond's job isn't necessarily to go around killing people, hence the .32 ACP PPK. If he was, he'd probably change out of that tux and put down that martini glass too.

- That being said, I'd probably go with Bourne. He's the only one of these guys who is an assassin by trade. Jack Bauer, at the end of the day, is still a law enforcement officer, albeit one who tortures and kills a lot of people. And Bond can assassinate people, but that's just a small aspect of his job.

(I've seen all the Bond movies, all the Bourne movies (including the 1988 one) and Season 8 of 24.)

S&Wshooter 09-03-2010 07:17 PM

BOurne. Bob Lee Swagger (from the books, not the movie) or Jack Reacher would wipe them all out though

Spartan198 09-03-2010 11:35 PM

Bourne wins hands down.

Clutch 09-04-2010 02:00 AM

Bourne, no contest.

Bond vs. Bauer would be quite the fun fight to see, as neither of them would be willing to give an inch. However, in just a straight hand-to-hand throwdown, they'd have to probably shoot Bourne in the back first to have a shot.

Bugabear 09-04-2010 04:48 PM

For Bond if we assume it's Rodger Moore, He'd get his ass kicked in the first 5 seconds. He just sex and gadgets. Sean Connery wasn't that impressive and Pierce Brosnan was a better shooting Rodger. So that just leaves Daniel Craig.

So I'm assuming they all meet in a room and need to kill each other. Assuming Bond isn't hung over, He and Bourne get into a fist fight and it's a tie since they have the same style. Bauer would then tie them up and interrogate them. Since Daniel Craig bond doesn't use gadgets he can't escape but Bourne probably could. Bourne then takes out Bauer while his back is turned and ties up Bauer and leave him for dead with Bond. Bourne then laves with a newspaper in the toaster and the oven on. Bauer will somehow escape and snipe Bourne with a SCAR L from really far away. Or a pistol. He can do both.

TL, DR, Bauer since he's better at mid to long range and can survive having the sh*t kicked out of him. Bourne puts up a great fight. Bond hasn't proven himself against competent people in any movie.

Swordfish941 09-04-2010 04:50 PM

Jack Bauer needs to learn that there are other ways of getting answers besides torture.

S&Wshooter 09-04-2010 05:14 PM


Originally Posted by Swordfish941 (Post 18514)
Jack Bauer needs to learn that there are other ways of getting answers besides torture.

It probably isn't the only method he knows, but it is most likely the funnest

Swordfish941 09-04-2010 05:33 PM


Originally Posted by S&Wshooter (Post 18519)
It probably isn't the only method he knows, but it is most likely the funnest

His methods get the ACLU's panties in a bunch.

sillybunz13 09-18-2010 05:27 AM

Bond wins, hands down!
Well if you don't want to look into James Bond's backround then I'll tell you about it.

Bond joins the Royal Navy and attends Britannia Royal Naval College at the age of 17. The modern biography clarifies Bond's military service by stating he joins the Special Boat Service while in the Regular Royal Navy, where he obtains the rank of Commander, and then is placed in the 030 Special Forces Unit Bond serves covertly in Iraq, Somalia, Iran, Libya and actively in Bosnia. He is then recruited by the RNR Defence Intelligence Group. Bond attends specialized courses at Cambridge and Oxford universities during this period, earning a degree in Oriental Languages from Cambridge. Bond is noted to be fluent in French, German, Russian, and Italian, and writing passable Greek, Spanish, Chinese, and Japanese at the time he joins MI6. In training, he receives exceptionally high marks for physical endurance, logic, and Psychological Operations exercises. He serves in the Royal Navy from age 17 to 31, joining MI6 at age 30, and is promoted to 00 Agent at age 38 in 2006.

So not only is fucking intelligent, he has more experience in combat than both Jason Bourne and Jack Bauer.

funkychinaman 09-18-2010 05:50 PM

Wow, this is news to me, but this only applies to Daniel Craig's Bond, as it not only contradicts some of the few facts about Bond's life that are actually canon, such as him being previously married, which was acknowledged by at least four of the five previous Bonds, and it sets a fixed date in his biography, which is something the previous Bonds have also avoided doing. And it may also be moot soon, as Daniel Craig's contract to play Bond runs out in about five weeks, and if he doesn't reup, they'll be writing a new one soon for whoever the new guy is, assuming a new movie is ever made. (I do hope they keep him though, assuming the studio can get their act together a make another movie.)

The actual link to the bio is here.

sillybunz13 09-23-2010 09:27 PM

It's still Bond!
Well since we're talking about Jack Bauer and Jason Bourne, I'm going to compare the Daniel Craig "Bond" because the movies/episodes are around the same era of time. the link you sent me to only made James Bond look even better comare to the others. Not to mention Daniel Craig's weapon handling is far more superior to Jason Bourne and Jack Bauer's teacup grips! You figure that Jason Bourne and Jack Bauer with all their previous "training" that they wouldn't have a gun like a fucking pussy like a cup and saucer grip on a handgun. And yes it does matter becuase shooting with a cup and saucer grip is not as accurate as the thumbs tucked grip or thumbs forward grip which all military and law enforcement use. And if you still don't believe me, try it yourself. His story changes every new bond but it's all around the same backround as he's been in the Royal Navy for 13 years or more and he's well educated. He's also not as sloppy like Jason Bourne or Jack Bauer. So it's still James Bond on top.

BurtReynoldsMoustache 09-23-2010 09:43 PM

James Bond gets more pussy than everyone. Case closed.

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