STORIES from the armory world....
I got a call from a movie art director. The story supposedly takes place in the late 1950s.
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Nearly every week I get a voicemail or email like this: Quote:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I love it when a low budget production enlists the aid of an active duty COP to be their weapons advisor. Sorry but COPS are not movie armorers. Their knowledge base is really deficient when it comes to movie making. I had a detective ask me the following: Quote:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I get a call from a low budget film production and they want to rent some firearms and they want full flash from the muzzle like in other movies. I give them a quote and note that many of the live firing weapons they need requires a licensed handler on set, I can't just hand them off to them and say "Have a nice day". I get a call back from them later which usually goes like this: Quote:
And it's only Tuesday..... |
Can you mention the 1959 film with the Xd's name? i just HAVE to see that.
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WOW those are some great stories. The one asking you to ship them the guns is the best. Do low budget films often try to use a cop for the weapons advisor or on-set armorer?
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In fact right now, I am providing some M16A2 barreled uppers to a police department (to use on their own lower receivers) and sell them full flash blanks for some sort of training video. They can't figure out why their weak Milspec 5.56mm blanks don't appear in bright sunlight or why the blanks don't cycle the actions....... |
Seriously guys. I cannot make this stuff up......
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As soon as I read these, I started thinking about a quote from some famous guy regarding the universe and stupidity and which is infinite.
And Jesus Christ...if my local PD had cops who were as stupid as the ones you've dealt with, I'd want them fired ASAP. Quote:
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Tell us when it comes out, some things are stupid enough to bother watching...
As to a cop automatically being able to be a gun expert....I saw a news photo of a NYPD officer strolling around with his finger wrapped around the trigger of his ar-15. |
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They must have just bought the airsoft stuff they though looked cool.
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And imaginationland, sad thing is it looks like those girls have way better gun handling than most tv actors.
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Ever notice how some of the best coaches in various sports were just average when they were playing the sport? It's rarer for naturals to be good teachers. Because it comes naturally to them. I am not a natural athlete and my skill and knowledge has developed over many years. I understand this and have also learned to seek info from folks who know their respective business. For example MPM 2008. I've seen the same thing with guys in the elite military units (SEALS, SF ect). Very good with what they use and excellent athletes, but that doesn't necessarily make them gun buffs. |
Grab your popcorn…..
A director wanted a M4 with full flash to shoot at the back of the head of the lead actor from 3 ft. Did a show in Morocco and had 250 guys shooting all over the place, we had concerns of ND's (negligent discharge) with the BG. We had ND's courteous of the stunt department, the best one was a PKM went off inside a pickup truck with 6 stunt guys. When we deploy the .50's, people think it's as loud as a 9mm. When it goes off I get all giddy like a little school girl and watch their reactions. After firing people coming running up to me all orgasmic like and tell me how that was amazing. People who complain that the guns are loud and that we should use a more quite one, usually hair and make up types. As a stunt performer, I was playing a soldier and had to dump 4 mags out of the M4 on the move with a whole lot of pyro going off around me, make a transition to a pistol and do 2 mag changes, also I had cast running around me like cats who just sat on a pack of alcohol wipes. The director thought I looked nothing like the movies he mentioned and instructed me what I should do, the stunt co ordinator jumped in and pulled the director aside and told him that I was a 20 yr vet and a film armorer. I have more but I'm tired…. |
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I'd love to hear more stories |
Only if you share Excalibur.
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What's BG? |
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I only comment in that I too have military training, but being also film trained, I am aware of some of the limitations that cinema puts on pure realism. I think we should also point out to the forum that sometimes one has to 'cheat the shot' in order to get the footage for the film. For example, I did a WW2 film some years ago and the military advisor had all the paratroopers patrolling the correct military way for the period. Spread out, all correct hand signals of the time, no man was closer than 25 feet to another man (i.e. so that a single grenade won't take out a bunch of guys)... He also told them not to bunch together and trained them well to utilize cover and concealment..... Wonderful, right? Except that the D.P. couldn't get any of the guys into frame. Kinda makes it pointless when you're filming these guys.... And spreading them that far apart made the scene impossible since TWO of the characters were supposed to be talking to each other. Good thing the Ex-SF guy who was advising the film understood that you can't make EVERYTHING completely correct militarily in some cases, because it makes it impossible to film the scene in the script. Anyway, it's all about getting it IN Camera. And having a smart director ..... |
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One can be a good COP (which is probably the most important thing) and not know a damned thing about movies. I just resent the 'assumption' by the lay public that being a Cop magically endows these people with knowledge of movie making and armoring films. BTW: on a NON-Armoring story, I had a neighbor, a nice little old lady who was an extra in a movie. Two weeks later she told me that she was angry because she 'hadn't received her DVD of the movie she was in yet'. I was "Huh? You only filmed your scene on that production TWO WEEKS ago!" She was "Yes, shouldn't I get a copy of the movie by now?" I was: "Uh, it takes a LOT LONGER than two weeks to finish production, post production, distribution, etc. etc. Your film probably won't be out for a year." She said that sounded ridiculous..... Sigh, the things that the ignorant public DON'T know about film. ;) |
Great stories. Keep them coming if you have more you'd like to share.
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And BTW, thank you both MPM and Al for sharing these stories. I realize you can't tell us which productions you're referring to, but it's still really hilarious to read them.
Out of curiosity, do you guys have any funny stories regarding your work with actors (again, not asking you to name names, just what they did)? I've heard a couple of those from other armorers I have talked to. |
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I think you're reading my comment "He only had live ammunition" with "He brought and expected to USE live ammunition". Cops I know all have live ammunition. I think low budget filmmakers forget that Cops don't usually carry the appropriate blanks. It was more of a dumb assumption on the part of the movie makers than the cop. |
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MPM2008 have you ever seen (or prevented) people on a set from doing something real stupid with blank loaded firearms ala the infamous 1984 Jon-Erik Hexum inccident with the blank loaded 44 magnum?
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Whew. I have to admit that back in my Army days I "played" with the blanks that we used in our M-16's.
I and my fellow soldiers would unscrew the blank adapters from our barrels then shoot cleaning rods out of the barrels by firing the blanks. We didn't shoot at each other, but I did see cleaning rods driven into tree trunks. Young soldiers can be dangerous if left unattended. I also recall playing with artillery simulators. :eek: It was many many years ago and I like to think that I'm smarter now. But blanks aren't toys that's for sure. Now I shudder when I think about the damage that we probably did to the barrels as well with those cleaning rods. I look at my teenage kids and find myself hoping that they are smarter than I was. |
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Then I have some of the details of all the industrial accidents dad investigated. Suprisingly few of them involved explosives. |
This is gonna sound somewhat off topic, but I couldn't read one of the newer Stephen King novels for that reason.
I got about 20 pages in, and the main character was horrifically mauled in an industrial accident. I was like: not for me. And stopped reading. On topic: young people maybe should be introduced to firearms safety at a young age. I know lots of people will never grow up to use firearms regularly(if at all), but I just see no better way to learn respect for firearms(real, blank firing, even replicas) than having your parents instill that respect from an early age. |
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My father gave me a strong sense of firearm safety and I wasn't encouraged to be reckless. And yet I still did engage in stupid behavior. And I knew at the time it was risky. Fortunately I was lucky and I got a grip on myself and stopped after a short while. None of us are perfect and I'm very skeptical of those who claim to be perfect. |
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Ok
I just finished a show and yesterday was a check in the box for my bucket list. I finished doing a shoot out in a strip club, man some big guns were there. All 30 ladies ended up hanging out by my station lol. Someone had asked what's BG, that would be Background Performer, some people call them walking props, cattle, zombies or breathing set dressing, IMO not a fan of any terms used. Here's a dumb move made by an actor 3 years ago. We had been doing a lot of shooting with actor dick toucher for about 2 weeks. On this day, we set up to do a close up with DT firing his pistol. Single action army revolver loaded with full black powder, rehearsed a few times, did 2 takes and getting ready to do the third. Here is what saved him from having a valley in his head, the director asked for the gun to be cocked, I suggested we leave the hammer forward and let him cock it for the dramatic effect, the director agreed. Speed was called, camera's rolling and just before the director yelled action, the actor had a hair issue and used the barrel to move his hair which was covering his eyes! Yes he had the pointy end smack in the middle of his head with finger on the trigger, I know that if he pulled the trigger nothing would happen but that was not the point, so…. I said "eh" and walked into frame, now remember the sound is speeding and three camera's rolling, I just went good old fashion Sgt and ripped him a new shiny asshole, I started on one side and worked over to the other side, every profane word that I knew came out, I leaned into his personal space like a recruit and went ape shit. I walked out of frame and without missing a beat the director yelled action, buddy fired and the director yelled cut, I walked over and ripped the gun out of his hand. That was it for him doing gun fire for the whole show, 100 plus crew just stood there gob smacked. The 1st AD wanted me to apologize! My reply to the AD, whats the next set up? After that, the cast would suck pine cones thru a crazy straw if I asked them to do it. |
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