An entertaining one

Do tell...

It doesn't count if the tiger is stuffed.

It was on the small side. This guy from the Houston Zoo was at the mall and he had a few in some cages. For $5 you could go in the cages for a few minutes and mess with the tigers. I thought "what the hell" and gave the man his money. When I got in th cage, the tiger bit me hard on my forearm (Not playfully, but like it wanted to hurt me) so I pushed it away. It tried to do it again so I punched it in the head and then the Zoo guy fucking freaked out and made me leave because I punched his tiger

No, do tell.

I just did

Sorry, glitchy connection at work.

Do your work

Did the tiger draw blood? You could have sued.

I didn't let it

Here's my recast of Jurassic Park:

Dr. Alan Grant - Viggo Mortensen

Dr. Ellie Sattler - Charlize Theron

Dr. Ian Malcolm - Mark Ruffalo

John Hammond - Brian Cox

Lex Murphy - Chloe Moretz

Tim Murphy - Nolan Gould

Dennis Nedry - Seth Rogen

Robert Muldoon - Daniel Craig

Donald Gennaro - Kurtwood Smith

Ray Arnold - Anthony Mackie

If you want me to recast any movies/TV shows, just tell me.

Goddam son, you have the gift.

Saving Private Ryan, but everyone's a woman.

Here's my recast of King Kong (the 2005 version):

Ann Darrow - Kiera Knightley

Carl Denham - Craig Ferguson

Preston - Kieran Culkin

Jack Driscoll - Elijah Wood

Captain Englehorn - Christoph Waltz

Ben Hayes - Idris Elba

Jimmy - Logan Lerman

Bruce Baxter - Adam Brody

Lumpy the Cook - Danny Masterson

Huey Lewis & The News' Hip to Be Square is a song so catchy, most people don't listen to the lyrics, but they should! 'Cause its not about the pleasures of conformity, it's also a personal statement about the band itself. Hey Paul, AHHHHH! *murders Jared Leto with an axe* Try getting a reservation at Dorsia now, you FUCKING STUPID BASTARD!

I like Kiera Knightly, I'm just not sure if she has enough up top to make it through half the movie in just a slip (or whatever Naomi Watts was wearing.)

What has Keira "the skeleton monster" Knightly even been up to? I haven't seen her in anything since Pirates of the Carribean

She's going to play Sabina Spielrein in David Crohenberg's A Dangerous Method with Viggo Mortensen as Sigmund Freud and Michael Fassbender as Carl Jung.

Viggo Mortensen on half a gram of Colombian party dust is gonna rip balls. :cool:

S&W
do you remember the ''READING IS FOR FAGGOTS" pic you poster sometime earlier?
i wanna show one of my friends , he said he couldn't believe it.

Here's my recast of Vanilla Sky:

Elijah Wood - David Aames

Michelle Rodriguez - Sofia Serrano

Dominic Monaghan - Brian Shelby

Gary Oldman - Dr. Curtis McCabe

Laura Prepon - Julianna "Julie" Gianni

Swordfish do a live action version of South Park.

Here's my recast of Say Anything:

Lloyd Dobler - Logan Lerman

Diane Court - Emma Roberts

Jim Court - Kevin Spacey

Constance Dobler - Vanessa Hudgins

That's not South Park.

A live action version of a long running cartoon would lose its originality.

As opposed to taking somebody else's show and changing nothing but the cast members?

You've got a point, but how many shows out there today are truly original? There are multiple Law and Orders, CSIs, and NCISs, police procedurals that are nearly indistinguishable from each other. Audiences don't like originality anymore. Even a semi-original show like Life on Mars, which was a remake in itself, only lasted a season. Last year, they tried to give Knight Rider another spin, this year, it's Hawaii Five-0. On the bright side, CHiPs, TJ Hooker, and Airwolf fans will have something to look forward to in the new few years.

One that you completely missed.

Do explain, professor.

My point was that swordfish has no business complaining about the originality of adapting a cartoon to live action when he himself is doing nothing but adapting tv shows and movies to his fantasy casts. It had nothing to do with what's actually on tv at the moment.

Here's my recast of The Weather Man:

David Spritz - Sean Astin

Robert Spritzel - Pete Postlethwaite

Noreen - Angela Kinsey

Shelly - Chloe Moretz

Mike - Nathan Kress

Jesus who even saw that movie? I think this gimmick has worn itself out.

Can I do Leaving Las Vegas?

No. Go do homework

Here's my recast of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind:

Joel Barish - Macaulay Cukin

Clementine Kruczynski - Mila Kunis

Mary Svevo - Drew Barrymore

Stan Fink - Danny Masterson

Patrick - Kieran Culkin

Dr. Howard Mierzwiak - Gary Oldman

If you're not doing requests then there's no point. Leaving Las Vegas was boring and depressing, replacing Cage and Shue with Wood and Kunis will not make it interesting.

All right, I'll take requests. Are you some sort of mindreader? Because Kunis and Wood were the two actors who I wanted to play the main characters.

Is that a serious question?