That's what comes to mind when I think of kneecapping.

Okay if that doesn't work, this will. It's my smartest plan yet:

Step 1: Find the worst play ever written.

Step 2: Hire the worst director in town.

Step 3: Raise $2 Million.

Step 4: Hire the worst actors in Hollywood, and show it at Cannes,

Step 5: Film closes, take money, and head to Amsterdam.

Well now you're a producer! How about "Spring Time for Osama"? That hasn't been done yet.

I'll do that. It'll be a collaboration between Ed Wood and Uwe Boll. It'll have two of the most washed up, phoniest actors in hollywood: Megan Fox and Rob Schneider!