Uses a S&W? Not a minor character or Dirty Harry? Guaranteed death before the third act

In most action movies

1. Bulletproof vests are magical force fields.
2. Shotguns make you fly.
3. Gunshot wounds to the arms, hands, feet, shoulders, or legs are not that serious.
4. "Clips"
5. Poor trigger discipline
6. Poor handgun grips
7. Dual wielding anything is more effective.
8. Richocet sparks (sometimes on wood)
9. Unlimited ammo with no magazines
10. Shooting from the hip with machines guns or rifles.
11. Suppressors on weapons make them completely silent.

This is especially true of Kate Beckinsale's character in Underworld. It was nice to show that, with the exception of the floor shooting scene, Seline's weapons did have an almost correct mag capacity, but where in the hell was she keeping them in that skintight vinyl catsuit? :p

Also, as a rule, all films must have a Beretta 92-series pistol. This doesn't even apply to just the action, adventure, or war genres anymore. ALL films MUST feature one of these. I'm sure you'll see a background death eater character in the new Harry Potter film packing one, and a centurion in the upcoming Ancient Roman epic, The Eagle, will probably have one as part of his kit. :p

i swear in lord of the rings a couple of orks were packing m9s in shoulder holsters.

That's why Sauron was defeated. Not because Frodo dropped the ring into Mt. Doom, but his army was packing craptacular pistols.

The reason the horsemen hate water is that their oversized anchor of a 9mm will amke them sink like a rock

I think that Orc that killed Boromir had a G36C. :D

I suspect Gandalf had a S&W 629 with a 3" barrel hidden in his robe as backup to his staff. Old school you know. :D

Nope, the whole staff was a canegun. I'm guessing that it used some sort of shotgun shell as that staff was taking out orcs left and right.

Look! I found a .45 that was made by Rivendell Gunsmithes:

http://www.dwharris.com/thumb/images/1911_jpg.jpg