Russell Howard is fucking hilarious.

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?

I need to obtain some Brawndo so I can fling trucks at people

I just cut up some watermelon :D

When my father got home today, he handed me what he said was a very special card

This card was given to him by my deceased Grandparents many years ago, who told him to give the card to me when I graduated high school. Inside the card it said that they knew I was going to go far and that they were very proud of me. Also inside was $500

dude, that's fucking awesome.

It made me sad

If i got a message that had been left by my dad i'd love it, once somebody's gone little things like finding something that belonged to them makes your day. A message would be great,

"When Chuck Norris is in shit, he calls the Selous Scouts"

Just a comment I saw on youtube

The Rhodesian military makes the Spartans look like a bunch of sissy metrosexuals.