I do most of my reading in the gym now, and I've only stopped and refused to finish two things: the official 9/11 report because it was too depressing, and one of Ann Coulter's books, because it was too embarrassing.

Here's my recast of Red Dragon:

William Graham - Danny Masterson

Dr. Hannibal Lector - Gary Oldman

Francis "The Toothfairy" Dolarhyde - Elijah Wood

Jack Crawford - Viggo Mortensen

Molly Graham - Bijou Phillips

Here's a challenge, re-cast the A-Team, BUT, only using actors who would be likely to commit to a television series. (So you can't cast George Clooney as Hannibal Smith.)

I was hoping they were do a remake of the A-Team rather than a movie, except they'd all be ex-Delta Force Somalia vets, and the crime they didn't commit was an assassination they did at the behest of the CIA, which was later denied. It'd be less humorous and more serious, because at the end of the day, these men were still wanted by the US government. Basically, a new A-Team series for fans of the old show when they were kids but who were now adults.

Piece of cake:

Mark Hamon - Colonel John "Hannibal" Smith

Matthew Fox - Lt. Templeton "Faceman" Peck

Dennis Haysbert - Sgt. B.A. Baracus

Seth Green - Captian H.M. "Howlin' Mad" Murdock

I agree on Mark Harmon. Or Adam Arkin, the poor man's George Clooney. Dennis Haysbert? I'm not sure he'd be willing to go from playing the President of the United States to a role first played by master thespian Mr. T. I was thinking more along the lines of Terry Crews. He's got the build, and he can be funny. Seth Green seems a bit too young for Murdock too. Maybe Matthew Lillard? He can do crazy. I didn't watch Lost or Party of Five, so I'm not familiar with the work of Matthew Fox. Can he play sleazy?

You're in good hands, fool.

AMERICA! fuck yeah!

Jurassic Park! Swordfish, do Jurassic Park! Don't forget the kids!

Edit: Bonus points if you cast based on the descriptions in the original book instead of just reimagineering the movie, including omitted characters.

Did I ever tell ya'll about the time I punched a tiger in the head?

what the hell kind of question is that?